As a part-time lurker on Reddit, I like to read work-related posts. Recently, came across one where the OP (original poster) was asking if people should discuss salaries with their friends, colleagues, and family members. The sub predominantly has an “antiwork” sentiment, so many agreed that it should be discussed to gauge their value in the market. Even more important, they want to discuss salaries with other people to know if their current or potential employers are lowballing them. This reminded me of a story I was told in one of my earlier jobs. I was told that my predecessor found out about our boss’ salary and was upset about it, thinking that the boss did not deserve such a salary when he/she was “not doing anything”. I was still new in the corporate world, so while I empathized with my predecessor, (our salaries were minimum wage) I also thought, “Well the boss is the boss, shouldn’t he/she be earning higher than the employees? (A very nuanced topic that I would learn more about later on)
I tend to be centrist in my opinions about work life and the tips that I share in my posts, as I am both an employee and an advocate for my clients. This time, I have a more solid stance on salary disclosures, and my stance is to not discuss your salary with other people. Humans have emotional ties to money, the resource that makes life go round. In the words of one Redditor who responded: “The question is if you can handle the emotions that come with knowing other people’s salary.” In my opinion, a lot of people don’t have the emotional capacity (yet, or at all) to handle the reality that other people earn more or less than them. In the same way, one can’t automatically assume that other people will be objective or supportive when they find out that he/she is earning XXX amount of money. My viewpoint on these disclosures is that there is a big chance that the sharer and the receiver of the salary details will bounce between feelings of envy, jealousy, resentment, pity, embarrassment, arrogance, etc (Exhibit A is the predecessor I mentioned earlier) These negative feelings will be amplified more if the nuances behind the salary structures are not clearly understood. To be honest, I find these anti-work sentiments online or in real life to be ironic. These antiwork people evangelize transparency but cannot take the heat when they find out the details.
Meanwhile in family settings, knowing your children’s siblings or parents’ salaries can cause issues including gossip among relatives. For children, there is a chance to be pressured to give more allowance to parents/siblings/relatives or be cajoled to take more financial responsibilities. Children/parents/siblings who are earning less might be ridiculed for not earning enough, or be pressured to do something they don’t want to make more.
To elaborate and put context on my stance, you can reveal your salary to other people. However, I would advise that you reveal it only to people who need to know about it. These people would be your spouse/partner, HR, boss, the tax department, your bank, and government agencies. If the reason for asking around for salaries is to gauge your market value or if you are being lowballed by your current or potential employer, you can look at salary surveys, or forums that allow for confidentiality. However, I would say salary surveys have more legitimacy. Having worked for a company that does this, and utilizing other companies that do so, I can say it is legit as they do accurate surveys, invite real working people to respond, and use statistical methodologies to churn out accurate results. You can also ask your headhunters. These people know salary ranges across functions and industries and can provide you with general guidelines or averages. On a side note, I’d say we headhunters have had our emotions neutered when it comes to handling salary information as we ask and use these dates in our jobs day in and day out.
Ultimately, no one can stop you from sharing whatever personal financial information you want to divulge with others. If you do decide to share or receive this information, prepare for some reality slap. Knowing what you probably don’t need to know may change your view or relationship with the other person, or vice versa. The reality is that our relationship with money is an emotional one, and many of us have yet to learn how to manage it.
Photo Credits (via Unsplash.com): Kristina Flour, Sander Sammy, Afif Ramdhasuma, Thriday.
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